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pseydtonneI went to a great party this evening. A woman told me I was cute. This was unprovoked. She really meant it. I think this process of developing faith in myself is starting to yield rewards.
I bought a bunch of whiteboards today. I find these handheld palimpsests very useful for making grids out of activities and clearing them up. One of the boards I bought was a little smaller than I'd assumed it'd be but just the right size for writing in bed. Here is my recopy of my first entry:
Introduction.
Hello, Dante. This is a new way for you to begin communicating with yourself. This is the perpetual tabula rasa. You'll always have to clear off whatever you write on here. If you like what you wrote here enough that you'd want to keep it, you'll have to rewrite it. This will enforce a process of revision, editing and judgment. However, it will also let you see progress as a systemic aspect -- you will write, read, edit, rewrite, review. You will come to terms both with the power of your own creativity as well as your need to foster it.
Your tasks in the physical world have become both your obsessions and your albatross. You need to write more so that you can visit your mental self more effectively. The process of writing clears up a stagnating pool of thoughts. Thus, your mind can be a clear stream instead of a foetid swamp. Your mind is a tool, not an end. Channeling its energy and ability makes it move from a burden to a broadsword.
As you close this session, remember that you can only love others once you love yourself. I love you, Yeah, this extends beyond your left hand. This is how you can come to share yourself with a needy world and not lose yourself.
I bought a bunch of whiteboards today. I find these handheld palimpsests very useful for making grids out of activities and clearing them up. One of the boards I bought was a little smaller than I'd assumed it'd be but just the right size for writing in bed. Here is my recopy of my first entry:
Introduction.
Hello, Dante. This is a new way for you to begin communicating with yourself. This is the perpetual tabula rasa. You'll always have to clear off whatever you write on here. If you like what you wrote here enough that you'd want to keep it, you'll have to rewrite it. This will enforce a process of revision, editing and judgment. However, it will also let you see progress as a systemic aspect -- you will write, read, edit, rewrite, review. You will come to terms both with the power of your own creativity as well as your need to foster it.
Your tasks in the physical world have become both your obsessions and your albatross. You need to write more so that you can visit your mental self more effectively. The process of writing clears up a stagnating pool of thoughts. Thus, your mind can be a clear stream instead of a foetid swamp. Your mind is a tool, not an end. Channeling its energy and ability makes it move from a burden to a broadsword.
As you close this session, remember that you can only love others once you love yourself. I love you, Yeah, this extends beyond your left hand. This is how you can come to share yourself with a needy world and not lose yourself.
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Date: 2005-03-06 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-06 11:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-07 03:30 am (UTC)i'm not sure i can ever love myself. there are just too many things wrong with me. BUT, i can love other people. perhaps as a substitute for loving myself.
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Date: 2005-03-08 07:31 am (UTC)As you close this session, remember that you can only love others once you love yourself. I love you, Yeah, this extends beyond your left hand.
I'm pretty fond of you, too. You're Good People.
For the record, I usually love myself with my right hand. =)