You have reached the Operator.

I built my vacation around coming home to vote.

I woke up at six this morning, after ten hours of sleep. I didn't think I'd be sleeping for ten hours.

I couldn't remember my ward, so I looked on my town's web site. It listed wards and their polling locations but not which streets voted where. I decided to walk to the closest polling location and ask. I brought a bottle of water, a banana and a book because I expected to wait an hour.

The walk was short. Had I known where the school was, it would've been shorter. I was greeted by two women working the proposals.

One woman was asking people to vote Yes on 3, which would end dog racing in Massachusetts. "It's cruel what happens to the dogs," she said. She went on about some track way out in southeastern Mass. I had to mention Wonderland, as we were a few inches from the frickin' T and who in Boston has never heard of Wonderland? She hadn't.

I asked, "What about the horsies?"

"Oh, well, they get humane conditions." If they raced badgers instead of skinny dogs, there wouldn't even be a ballot proposal.

The other woman was asking me to vote No on 1, the proposal to drop the state personal income tax rate from 5.3% to 2.65%. I'm very opposed to lowering the state income tax because every dollar I don't pay becomes car damages from the potholes.

Then I saw the line winding out of the school. I also saw a woman asking people where they lived. "Oh, it turns out you're in Precinct 14," which bummed me because I wanted to live in a ward instead of a precinct.

It also meant I had to walk way the heck over to another school and she had no clue where that was. Another guy in the line told me. Off I went. The two propositionistas were sympathetic that I had to walk: "oh yeah, they gerrymandered your street. It's a shame." Thank you, No-On-One-Stein. (Nein Auf Einstein?) I will remember you in my prayer-like votes.

I walked and wound up with shin pains. What the eff? I walked all over France for more than a month and never felt any problems. Now I'm back and the weird gravity of North America is messing with me. Maybe I'll have to move to Europe just to keep in shape.

I got to the school and the cops were telling people to line up outside instead of in the halls. The PTA was selling bagels and baked goods, so they made some money off my forgot-to-eat-breffixt ass.

I talked to the woman in front of me, who was reading Smithsonian magazine. Then I talked to the two guys behind me that thought Prop One was a great idea. I tried to explain to them how civic services worked. Clearly these boys didn't drive but had the smug postures of future Reagan Democrats.

I voted. I hate uncontested elections. Thus I voted against Kerry because he didn't want a real debate against his token opponent, but I vote for Barney Frank because I have the honor of being in Barney "Gay Townies Rawk!" Frank's district. I wrote in for three uncontested positions just because the incumbents were Irish: my roommate for Councillor, myself for Register of Probate, and arib for County Treasurer. Hey, we all live in Brookline...

I still can't believe Prop One got to the ballot. It's like some joke sent in by New Hampshirists. I voted yes on 2 (decriminalizing possession of less than an ounce of Da Chronic), and yes on 4 because it's about health care.

Then I walked home and talked to my mom on the way. She voted, too. She was bummed that they wouldn't give her Obama signs to put up because Utica wasn't important enough to get Obama signs. That chunks. Fight the power! Oh wait...