The Genesis of Potato

In the beginning there was dirt. And the dirt was... okay. Nothing great. We would shape the dirt into clods. Then someone found a great clod with hints of roots in it and a shape like an egg. We dreamed that one day, this would be our savior.

Then it came from South America. It was a grand tuber, capable of giving life. On the outside, it looked like the Grand Clod Prophet but it clearly fulfilled the prophesy because it was shining white inside and it made vodka.

Yes, we finally had our New Testament: it is Potato! Soon we had an entire world much better than dirt. We had food, drink, message transmission and even a clumsy surrogate lover.

Oh yes, we have so much more here in America. However, in Russia we had potato. It was as close as us atheists could get to Divine Providence. Also, it fried well.

-this was quem98's idea gone to a logical conclusion, Dante