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Aug. 22nd, 2004 04:29 amIt's late, but I am glad I stayed up. I'm coming to some conclusions.
It may be hard, but I need to live alone for a while. I'd like to have visitors of course. However, I realize I'm not ready to be in a relationship for a while. I need to cut down on my obligations to other people. I have blown out my gaskets and I must recuperate.
I am no longer certain that I will ever marry. There, I said it. I typed it. I may make a good husband, but I've got to take care of myself and craft a career path. This requires time and effort alone. This requires a decrease in obligations.
I have hurt myself by not taking care of myself. I don't mean to be cruelly selfish, but I have an addiction to helping others before helping myself. This doesn't sound like the worst thing, but it's meant losing track of what I want. Hell, I barely remember what I want to do with my life. That's not healthy.
I shall make no promises right now (the use of "shall" indicates future tense, no volition). I will sort my brain ("will" in the first person indicates volition, which contradicts the previous sentence). It sucks to be alone, but I can choose being alone. I can interrupt it as I need. I will stave off any feelings of loneliness because I am strong enough to see them apart from myself. Then again, I should also relax more.
Okay, that's that. More talk later. I will be positing more often.
-the future lies ahead, Dante
It may be hard, but I need to live alone for a while. I'd like to have visitors of course. However, I realize I'm not ready to be in a relationship for a while. I need to cut down on my obligations to other people. I have blown out my gaskets and I must recuperate.
I am no longer certain that I will ever marry. There, I said it. I typed it. I may make a good husband, but I've got to take care of myself and craft a career path. This requires time and effort alone. This requires a decrease in obligations.
I have hurt myself by not taking care of myself. I don't mean to be cruelly selfish, but I have an addiction to helping others before helping myself. This doesn't sound like the worst thing, but it's meant losing track of what I want. Hell, I barely remember what I want to do with my life. That's not healthy.
I shall make no promises right now (the use of "shall" indicates future tense, no volition). I will sort my brain ("will" in the first person indicates volition, which contradicts the previous sentence). It sucks to be alone, but I can choose being alone. I can interrupt it as I need. I will stave off any feelings of loneliness because I am strong enough to see them apart from myself. Then again, I should also relax more.
Okay, that's that. More talk later. I will be positing more often.
-the future lies ahead, Dante
