Not sleepy, hoping this holds out
Aug. 24th, 2010 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pseydtonneI've already gotten a bunch of work done in just an hour. Let's hope this keeps going.
I'm mostly posting because of a lovely shuffle juxtaposition on my MP3 player:
Abbott & Costello - "Who's On First"
American Music Club - "I've Been a Mess"
Just the titles give a lovely sense of being confused. However that latter song opens with the following:
"Lazarus wasn't grateful
for his second wind
For another chance
watch his chances fade like the dawn"
It's a beautiful song about everyone expecting you to get it when you just don't.
I feel like that a lot. I convey some kind of authority in public, as I learned well this weekend. However I don't feel like it gets me what I want. It's like I'm wearing the Seriously With It cloak I stole.
Actually, it's a little weirder than that. I feel like a walking Chinese Room. I am an adult, I can play that to eleven as needed. Then I look out and wonder why I can't turn off this feeling of being alone. So I try to play the rules I've learned over time to get connectivity but I never feel fulfilled. It's like I'm communicating but not understanding the feedback.
More later... I got lots to do while I'm on.
I'm mostly posting because of a lovely shuffle juxtaposition on my MP3 player:
Abbott & Costello - "Who's On First"
American Music Club - "I've Been a Mess"
Just the titles give a lovely sense of being confused. However that latter song opens with the following:
"Lazarus wasn't grateful
for his second wind
For another chance
watch his chances fade like the dawn"
It's a beautiful song about everyone expecting you to get it when you just don't.
I feel like that a lot. I convey some kind of authority in public, as I learned well this weekend. However I don't feel like it gets me what I want. It's like I'm wearing the Seriously With It cloak I stole.
Actually, it's a little weirder than that. I feel like a walking Chinese Room. I am an adult, I can play that to eleven as needed. Then I look out and wonder why I can't turn off this feeling of being alone. So I try to play the rules I've learned over time to get connectivity but I never feel fulfilled. It's like I'm communicating but not understanding the feedback.
More later... I got lots to do while I'm on.
