Upon learning about Spitzer's foibles

[pseydtonne]

"New York State is home to the finest apples, the best cheese, and the most rotgut wines. But did you know about its hookers?

"Even our governor, when he's not busy busting prostitution rings, is busy busting his nut in our fine fillies. Yes, treat yourself to one of our fine houses of ill repute. DC toll booth snizz is not good enough for the Guv. Pussy so expensive and discreet that it's worth risking a Mann Act conviction.

"New York hookers -- another reason I Love New York!"

-yeah I said snizz, Ps/d

P.S.: i had to explain to my mom today that bareback is sex without a condom, not anal sex. I had to use the saddle analogy. My roommate laughed. To be fair, her generation didn't even use condoms.

Comments

[damsel-ophelia.livejournal.com]

Hur hur hur you said snizz...I think I just found a new favorite word!

[suppressingfire.livejournal.com]

The biggest outrage seems to be in paying $5000 (!) for the snizz-ness.

[pseydtonne.livejournal.com]

Who pays that much, especially since the dude is married to a decent-looking woman and he's calling for a female hooker? What, does his wife not shove peanut butter down his throat and a dildo up his ass while he is bound in hospital gauze and cums in a Thermos? I mean, jeeze. Marry for the kink and stay for... umm... the stuff you do after calling safe word.

Advice for anyone planning to run for political office: marry the kinkiest freak you can bear to spend a week alone with. Otherwise you will be found out and you'll have to stand at a podium begging your constituents for forgiveness. Wouldn't it be classier to stand at the podium and say:

"Yes, my fellow jagovs, it's true. I'm into being fisted while I fuck. I like sixth base. My wife here is a total freak and so am I. We met at an orgy in grad school, where she whapped me with a truncheon within an inch of my life and I jizzed like a fountain in a shopping mall. Why the CIA chose to spy on us? No clue. We did this at home, in a room without windows, when the kids were at my sister's house. Our safe word is "Tetris". You'll find this is an easy word to say when you have a ball gag in your mouth. So I'm pushing for legislation to make being a freak at home legal. Any questions?"

I would run for public office just so I could have that moment. Oh, and the wife would be standing up there at the podium but I'd be grinding my hand into her crotch and then mention "by the way, she's had a fantasy about getting me to get her off during one of these press conferences. You people have made her dream cum true... eh, right then, yup. I can't point with my hand right now so I'll just let the loudest reporter go first."

Am I sick for thinking of this stuff?

[dobrovolets.livejournal.com]

Am I sick for thinking of this stuff?

Sick and brilliant and if you posted like this more often your LJ info page would have "500" next to "Friend Of".