Fascinating Assignment
May. 4th, 2003 03:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pseydtonneCalmcats has decided to unleash its latest development in my neighborhood. Since I'm an employee, I get first crack at it whether I want it or not. They should be lucky I was jonesing the moment they announced.
The product is "Video on Demand", or VoD. I suppose "video smack" would've been too obvious. It was an evolutionary product: you can watch TV shows and movies whenever you want. Normal pay-per-view requires that you wait for a half-hour that is vaguely convenient, sit through the entire event, and not get up to take a piss. That part about the pissing is what keeps video stores open. So Calmcats got the idea to invest in some huge hard drives and probably full-RAM servers, record the pay-per-view and some popular TV shows, and have them at ready.
Starting some time (likely next week), I'll be able to hit a couple buttons on my digital cable box (the same box that takes three seconds to change a channel) and watch movies whenever I want. I can rewind, fast-forward, and even pause the program overnight.
The service already exists in some Time Warner towns, but it isn't popular. They found no one will use it because they can't play with it for free. So they're making hundreds of hours of regular cable shows available for free -- we're talking Food Network, Comedy Central, even NBC. Once the customers start watching the nightly news at 5 AM, they may enjoy watching skin flicks without going to a video shop.
Calmcats sent employees an information packet with some explicit instructions:
"What you need to do... as an On Demand test group representative, we ask that you test this service prior to the customer launch. Please test all aspects of On Demand including Free Previews, Pay Movies, and Adult Content. You will not be billed for these selections." (Yes, that part was originally in boldface.)
Ladies and gentlemen, my gracious employer has asked me to watch pr0n for free. I only hope that I may serve my employer well. I plan to report back to all of you on my observations. I may also wrap my remote in cling film.
-be jealous, Dante
The product is "Video on Demand", or VoD. I suppose "video smack" would've been too obvious. It was an evolutionary product: you can watch TV shows and movies whenever you want. Normal pay-per-view requires that you wait for a half-hour that is vaguely convenient, sit through the entire event, and not get up to take a piss. That part about the pissing is what keeps video stores open. So Calmcats got the idea to invest in some huge hard drives and probably full-RAM servers, record the pay-per-view and some popular TV shows, and have them at ready.
Starting some time (likely next week), I'll be able to hit a couple buttons on my digital cable box (the same box that takes three seconds to change a channel) and watch movies whenever I want. I can rewind, fast-forward, and even pause the program overnight.
The service already exists in some Time Warner towns, but it isn't popular. They found no one will use it because they can't play with it for free. So they're making hundreds of hours of regular cable shows available for free -- we're talking Food Network, Comedy Central, even NBC. Once the customers start watching the nightly news at 5 AM, they may enjoy watching skin flicks without going to a video shop.
Calmcats sent employees an information packet with some explicit instructions:
"What you need to do... as an On Demand test group representative, we ask that you test this service prior to the customer launch. Please test all aspects of On Demand including Free Previews, Pay Movies, and Adult Content. You will not be billed for these selections." (Yes, that part was originally in boldface.)
Ladies and gentlemen, my gracious employer has asked me to watch pr0n for free. I only hope that I may serve my employer well. I plan to report back to all of you on my observations. I may also wrap my remote in cling film.
-be jealous, Dante
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-04 06:59 am (UTC)I'd been told all employees would have a crack at it, but maybe it's only employees who have PPVs (and perhaps a sprinkling of pr0n) on their bills? I can think of some happy happy roommates though - and hey, maybe it'll be on in time for the smut swap! :-D