Things to do while you work a weekend shift

I am reading a couple books I bought before dinner. I am putzing with a Linux server and maybe I'll beat up another server later. I'm reading "Teaching Baby Paranoia" at Modern Tales. I've just closed up some chat windows because everyone is going to bed.

That's right: it's the beginning of my third weekend shift. My fine employer (no, really -- I like 'em) gives me the Friday before and the Monday after as days off for working the weekend shift. This idea of payment by recuperation was ectophylla's idea and I'm honored to be its recipient. I got a lot of sleep earlier today. In turn, I have not flinched at all as I have handled some interesting cases. I can nosh on a piece of challah while I think out high-tech solutions.

Some of the putzing I have done involves work. For example: I got my first web server to work on Solaris and Linux so that I can test some customer situations. It's neat: the web browser pulls up files from either server so that I can edit the files and rouse any revisions I desire. Revision control isn't just my day job: it's an OCD victim's dream.

Since I'm mostly trapped in the house when I'm on shift, it means I have to make the place as accommodating as possible. I can run out to the supermarket and get stuff but I can forget about going to a movie. I am tethered to my cell phone, which will ring with a warning about an incoming problem. Sometimes I'll simply ask for the customer's phone number right then and call before I get to my laptop. This gives me time to poke through the produce aisle a little longer.

What's funny is that I'm starting to like these weekend gigs. They're a chance to get a bunch of laundry done, make interesting dinners, catch up on household crap. I have to be with myself. I don't have time to think about whether I want to get laid, why I'm not in a relationship or even whether I am a good person. I only have time to think about customers and spend any other time recovering. As a result, I'm realizing some good things about myself.

Things are not people. Frickin' obvious, right? Nevertheless, I am still figuring out that I cannot figure out a person the way I can figure out a thing.

I can get interested in a topic, such as data structures or methods of cooking meat. I can then research and experiment. I can use my logic skills and my ability to think in parallel tracks to figure out important distinctions quickly. I can then teach someone else what I learned.

When I get interested in a topic, it's too easy to use the same skills upon a person. Such actions mean I treat people as tools instead of being there for the person. This leads to misunderstanding, conflict and loss. Some of you have been the victims of this discovery process. I wish I could simply tell you I'm sorry if I disappeared soon after you met me when I realized something. I may say it but it doesn't fix everything. It doesn't put me back on a track with a person. It can mean I can start fresh things without guilt. (Right?)

So yeah, I'm forever sorting myself out. I've improved a lot. My birthday is next month. With it the astrological new year approaches. Rebirth and all that. The cocoon has been a bit snug.

I am no longer worried about certain ghosts. I am ready for new relationships and even getting better at understanding that I cannot force such things. I am learning to listen without talking back just because I fear silence. I am learning not to overextend myself simply because I don't like doing what I'm already doing. I learning to finish tasks and admit when I need help.

You see? Lots of spare time but I still have to be awake a little longer. You'll have to pardon me now as I try to call Hong Kong and find out whether a customer speaks English.

P.S.: I was also playing another song over and over but it's probably too gauche to mention it. You're mostly hip folks and I like to keep that veneer as much as possible.

Never mind. It's "Einstein on the Beach" by the Counting Crows. Sorry but I'm a sucker for certain chord progressions.